THIS WAS SUCH A GREAT JOKE
straight boys a summary
I JUST CUT MY HAND ON MY OWN BRA WTF
AND I GOT A PAPERCUT FROM THE BANDAID PACKAGING?!?!
Next Time: glassbottledemon breaks their knee on a pillow and gets pneumonia from a soothing cup of tea
The worst part is that actually once I broke my arm by tripping on a pillow and another time I got pneumonia from sharing a water bottle with someone who had it. ;U;
IM CHOKING ON MY OWN LAUGHTER
Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it.
Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this.
There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color.
But, hey, at least it tastes good, right?
High five, America!
oh my god
bitch that’s the tubby custard machine
OMFG THIS POST FINALLY MADE IT TO MY DASHBOARD IM CRYING
"bitch that’s the tubby custard machine"
10,000 years from now on the dawn of a new civilization where we are all just brains in jars flying spaceships through the vast unknowable void, i will still be laughing my ass off at “bitch that’s the tubby custard machine”. this i vow.
I AM SCREAMING THIS IS SO SATISFYING
#109 Koffing, the Poison Gas Pokémon.
Now available and READY TO SHIP!
I gave this chubby guy two gas craters to look like his hands. :}
THIS IS ADORABLE I CAN’T
After 10 years of hearing kitchen, sandwich, driving, fake geek girls, being physically weak, and PMS Jokes. I do not care about hurting the feelings of boys with (stereotypically masculine) jokes.
"But it’s very strange. Cause this is the first time I’ve ever seen a law change because the government was just like, ‘*sigh*… fine’."
Mulaney: An Opening Act Preview Special | (x)
so i was looking up news about Pirates 5 and
Johnny Depp is the only cast member listed
johnny depp is every role
just johnny depp
e t e r n a l j o h n n y
relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead
Because a piece of gum told me to
This is priceless and nerddom is universal.
sokka is a gift